Chapter II: The First Sign

I will skip some years... six years later, I was 14.
I must say that by that time I was really annoyed by the society, you know, the typical stuff you think when you are a teenager, just you against the world.
I tried to be all the time with my friends, and I was all the time listening to music. By that time, my favorite bands where Iron Maiden, Kiss and Genesis. I´m really proud of my musical taste.
So anyway, one day I was at home, listening to The Police, when I heard a noise at the kitchen. It wasn´t the noise what scared me, it was realizing ten minutes later that I was alone in the house. Something was out there. Five minutes later my parents arrived, and things went back to normal, or that is what I thought...
That night I had a very strange dream. I was at a desert, but, everything was blue. The sand looked blue, but that was just because there was a gloomy blue light. And there was mist, blue as well. My visual range was very short.
I started walking, because I had nothing else to do, and immediately after moving 6 steps of my original position, I heard a noise, and another, and another... They weren´t just noises, something was generating those sounds. It sounded like, the roar of a giant beast. Clearly it was nothing like a lion, or something like that, oh no, this was bigger.
In the middle of the mist, a shadow appeared, it looked like a human at first, but it slowly started to grow because it was getting closer to me.
It was in front of me, if I just stretched my hand I could have touched it, but I was paralyzed, I just couldn´t move. I couldn´t believe what I was seeing.
It was very thin, tall, like two meters tall, or maybe more, and it was surrounded by a black tunic. It´s arms were very long, and had pointy fingers, like blades. It´s arms were thin but big at the same time. It´s chest was full with scars, but the scars showed a drawing, one I couldn´t understand.
And finally, it´s face had a strange mark, just above it´s eyes. He started talking in a really deep, distortioned voice... I couldn´t understand what he was saying, I could just figure this words: "DEATH", "TIME", "DECLINE", "FATE/FAITH", and finally "JUDGE".
I woke up all sweaty... breathless. "It´s just a dream... just a fucking nightmare for christ sake." I said to myself. I couldn´t sleep for the rest of the night.

Chapter I: Back Again, And Something Else Too...

Well, everything began when I was 8 years old. One day I came back home and suddenly I passed away, when I woke up, I was at the hospital, my parents were there, they were crying... I was having a headache at the moment. I turned around and saw a doctor. He walk towards to me, very slowly. I was scared, that face... it looked like a ghost... he touched my arm and I felt his cold fingers.
Then, he said something, I knew what it meant, but I just didn´t fully understood the magnitude of his words.
"I am afraid to tell you little Zack... that you have cancer."
Immediately I understood why my parents were crying. He explained the details to my parents, I heard the entire conversation, but I can´t remember it.
The tumor was on my left lung. The doctor said it was a very complicated surgery, but it had to be done quickly, or otherwise, the other lung would be compromised, and probably more...
The weeks passed as I was getting prepared for the surgery. I had the quimio done, I lost all my hair, that sucked. I met dozens of kids who had cancer as well, it´s a very strong image now that I think about it...
The day arrived, I was with my family, they were all smiling and crying at the same time. The nurses came to take me to the Surgery Room, I said goodbye to my family, and couldn´t avoid to hug my mother and cry and scream. I was so afraid... so far away from the reality... I felt asleep later on, and they prepare me for it...
Then something happened, I felt like I was floating at some point, and a light appeared above me... I remember it was very pretty and warm... Suddenly I felt pain... huge pain all over my body, it felt like electricity, and indeed it was.
I woke up, the operation was over, but apparently my heart had stop beating during the process (or something like that, I don´t remember that very well).
But here is something I remember... they took me to a room where my family (as happy as never) and while they talked tome, hugged me and kissed me, I couldn´t held to have a strange feeling, like if someone was watching me... I felt a cold pair of eyes above me... But I was too tired to really realize that...

My Life

So... I guess I should stop talking bullshit and really begin with the reason why I began writing this blog. It´s a long story, but I guess I have all the time of the world to write what happened to me. To whoever reads this, I want you to know that this is real, every word of it. I really don´t care if you believe it or not, that is your choice, I just need to tell my story before it consumes me. Probably I will start some years ago... the beginning...

Dreams I

Have you ever wondered what dreams really mean? There is this theory... that explains that our brain takes little pieces of our memory and with it, builds a complete different world in your subconscious, a better place for your own pleasure. 

But here is the problem, if this is true, we can also assume that nightmares are your worst visions shown to you in your sleep just to torture you. 

So we can assume that inside our minds, exists a duality, which confronts two different parts of ourselves, fighting for supremacy. The battle of sanity against insanity, as simple as that.

We are told that we are animals, and indeed we are, but we protect ourselves and the others from that animal, thanks to our capability of thinking, and behold our dark side hidden. 

We can see how the insanity can take control of our minds, and there are records all across the human history, that show exactly what are we capable of doing when this happens.

What are we? Really, someone answer that question for me... What other kind of horrors are we capable of committing? I mean, if you know how to break a person correctly, you could make that person kill it´s own son... we are empty beings. Of course we can be good and stuff... but that doesn´t hide the real monster we have inside of us all.

Weird Day

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, those days in which you don´t understand what the hell is going on? Maybe is because I´m not sleeping well lately... but I always feel strange, like if something bad is going to happen to me.

On other news, a friend just told me he is making a party at his home, I´m going (I guess), but he told me he is going to invite a group of girls, in which my ex-girlfriend is included. I don´t know what to do, it´s not because I´m afraid or something like that, I can deal with that, but I don´t want to bother her. The reason why we broke up is because I´m not good enough for her (which is bad), and when I told it her we should stop seeing each other, she was okay with that (which makes it much worst than it was already).

So, life is a bitch right? I´m not a good boyfriend, or a good son, etc. I am incapable of paying attention to another human being. I only know how to be a good friend, that´s all, I´m not good at anything else...

The Beginning

So this is how modern stories start, huh? One guy, one blog, and a stupid life story right ahead of it. I hate cliches. But well, Internet is full of teenagers ready for let strangers know every little aspect of their private lives.

I like to consider myself as a bit different than the regular teenagers. I never said special, just... different.

Now everybody must be like "Oh yeah, what makes you think you are so special dude?"

Well... I can´t explain that. If you want to know the answer, you should constantly visit my blog and read it for yourself.